As Far as A-CNN is Concerned the Greatest Catholic Website in the World is The Remnant, Click Here to Check It Out!

sick man prayer

Prof. Burgensis, OHMS (On His Majesty’s Service), plenipotentiary ambassador of the Kingdom of Spanadia to the Holy See, has shared with Allium Cepa the breaking news of a new Creed in the times of Covid by the Congregation for the Doctrine of Faiths (as it is now called, see Motu Proprio “Roma locuta”, translated into English as “When in Rome”).

September 17, 2021

Announcing Novus Oreos!

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praise and worship

Are you tired of the same old Oreos from time immemorial? Are you fed up with the forced black-and-white conformity of the usual routine?

communion rituals coronavirusNone of that, please.

Catholics across the country are eager to return to their parish churches after enduring months without access to the Mass. Dioceses are examining various ways in which they can safely commence public Masses and other forms of ministry. This is welcome news, but some thoughtful priests have cautioned against a rush to reopen. After all, the Church has only been closed during the balance of Lent and all of Eastertide, so there is no need to hurry back to Ordinary Time.

dr birx mask

 

Just six more months to "slow the spread", friends. Let's be safe out there!

funny picture safety mon 540x423 2In a new customer-safety initiative, Lowe's home improvement warehouses today announced that they would be removing all sharp or pointy objects from store shelves.  "Customer and Associate safety is our top priority," declared Rich Scareborough, Lowe's Vice President of Safety.

Mark Twain once explained that “all you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” These seem like fitting words to begin as I, quivering with emotion, scribe a few words on the death of the “fictional” Susan from the Parish Council. Her ignorance was inestimable, her confidence impenetrable, and her success undeniable.

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