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May 16, 2014

Rock the Rock Concert: Being Catholic is Being Cool

Written by  James Cunningham
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Sister Cristina Scuccia Sister Cristina Scuccia

 A-CNN Breaking News Report: Officials from the Vatican Promotions Center for the Preforming Arts have released today the following bulletin: “The blockbusting “Rock the Rock” concert tour has already been sold out in two major USA cities and appears to be selling out everywhere else as well.”

Another spokesman for the Vatican “Rocks the Rock” Tour itself tells us that the Pope’s hot new thumbs-up show, which the press has labeled, “The Endless World Youth Day Spectacular”, is breaking all attendance records.

It has even been rumored that Italian singing nun sensation, Sister Cristina Scuccia, will Headline this star-studded show featuring “The Cool Franciscans” and “The “Dancing Dominicans” and ten other exiting clerical acts including the “Bouncing Bishops of Rio.”  

Tickets are now available at and other major online outlets so act now and don’t wait until they are all sold out.   Witness the never before seen Spirit of Vatican II come alive in these wholly Rock and Rollers in a fantastic display of neo-Catholic Charismatic Renewal. Experience the Heavy Metal guitars and bongo drums of the Wholly Smoker Trash-Band Orchestra lead by Maestro Cacophony and thrill as the neo-Catholic rock crowd goes wild with delirious excitement.  

Make sure that you get your tickets well in advance and while they last. Official “Who Am I To Judge” T- shirts with an autographed image of the Pope will be given out to the first one hundred rocker fans at each concert.   

This will be an obsessive-, Pelagiian-, restorationist- and rigid traditionalist-free event and only official Novus Ordo “ID” cards along with valid “Rock the Rock Concert Tour” tickets will permit admission to these life altering events; the most dynamic lineup of clerical rock performers for the 21st.century.

Join the New-Church fan club and enjoy an extra 10% savings discount on all neo-Catholic-Rock books, pins, CD’s, posters and other great items. Another official Vatican spokesman has said; “This is the New-Catholic fun Church of happiness and good times; we left the pre-Vatican II days in the valley of tears fifty years ago.  

The “Rock the Rock Concert Tour” will also be available on Blue-Ray and DVD and sold in all major retail stores after their closing performance for the year 2014. Walcart has already begun an extensive advertisement campaign in anticipation of the record-breaking sales demand. Spread the word: “This is not your grandparents’ Catholic Church of no; we are the cool New Revolutionary Catholic Church of yes and proud to just do it.”

Below is a sample of what to expect at the Rock the Rock Concert on tour:


Read 1936 times Last modified on May 16, 2014